If you set boundaries, such as knocking before entering the bedroom, not interfering in disputes, not interfering with parenting, etc., it will keep the experience of living with your in-laws enjoyable. Some limits can be set directly (by talking to them) and others indirectly. Boundaries help keep a healthy distance from each other. Without it, not only will you have ruined your own peace, but you will also not respect the peace of mind of the members who live with you. This can mean trying to take sides in arguments, invading privacy (whether you`re spending time alone or time with your loved one), and so on. Dealing with your in-laws can bring different types of stress and emotions to everyone in the household. “Casual, non-binding relationships just don`t go where it hurts. Honestly, there aren`t as many people who care about what you do and don`t do as your in-laws,” Polard says. If the situation becomes overwhelming or you feel depressed, you can see a family therapist or counselor. An objective part might be just what you need to sort things out and avoid conflict. Your spouse can also let their parents take on their personal responsibilities once you move in together.
If your in-laws do your partner`s household chores, you might naturally worry that you will end up taking over when you`re alone again one day. This weight needs to be evenly distributed, so don`t be afraid to talk to your partner about what you want them to do in the household. After all, everyone will be able to find their own rhythm and live together harmoniously. I can`t help but think that he is the cause of the growing break with my loved ones. Greet your in-laws nicely and always speak in a respectful tone, even if you don`t feel like they`re doing the same to you. No one wins if you try to treat others the way they treat you. We do our best to be accepted into a new home and to behave well at all times. However, problems arise when you find yourself in a family where you are supposed to stay with your in-laws at all times. Spending time with others can be exhausting.
Especially if you spend your time with your in-laws. Living with your in-laws can also bring many benefits. The two parties can help each other in many ways. For example, there are more people who can join them by making dinner, picking up the children from school, and helping with household chores or daily chores. The biggest positive side is, of course, the opportunity to get to know each other better and connect with family. If you and your partner have unrealistic expectations about what it will be like to live with one of your parents, or if they have unbalanced expectations of love for both of you, things can take a turn for the worse. The problems go in all directions. Parents have difficulties with their sons-in-law and daughters-in-law; These sons and daughters struggle with their in-laws – and also with their brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law. As Lori writes in a column, “You say it`s a problem with your husband and son-in-law, but as you describe it, the problem affects the whole family. Each of you seems to be resentful in your own way and to varying degrees. The idea of living with stepparents is even more important if you and your partner have no experience living in a joint or extended family.
There`s no shame in asking for help when you need it, especially if your in-laws are hurting your marriage. It can be nice to save money or help the family, but if it can lead you to divorce, it`s time to think about your options. You might think about seeing a marriage counselor or, if necessary, finding a way to change your life situation. While relationships with family are an important priority, your marriage and happiness should also be important. Let`s take a look at some proven strategies for thriving with in-laws: It`s understandable that your spouse feels trapped or even upset by the situation. However, this could lead to disputes. If your partner disagrees with their parents, you may want to stay out of it. Let them get by together.
If you`ve ever lived with extended family, you`ve probably learned that it has its pros and cons. There are several reasons why you might end up living with your in-laws. Maybe you`re saving money, and it makes financial sense for you and your partner. Maybe someone is sick and needs special care, or it could be part of your culture that the family shares a home. Bringing gifts to an event, dinner or even just a random visit is something that is never wasted. Be sure to invest in thoughtful gift items – The more thoughtful and unique the gift, the higher the perceived value. A big reason why you feel intimidated by the idea of living with your in-laws is, above all, that it can be uncharted territory for you and your loved one. A marriage is not just the union of two spouses, but of two families – each with its own beliefs and lifestyles in the world. The resulting relationships may be some of life`s richest, but for many people, they can also be some of the most confusing. Atlantic Dear Therapist columnist Lori Gottlieb receives many, many letters about in-laws and the various challenges it can pose. Remember that you can only form a strong family if you don`t build strong relationships with your in-laws now. Respect and love are the main ingredients of a harmonious family.
If you don`t respect your in-laws now, you can`t expect your children`s spouse to be respected in the future. Interestingly, in some cultures, life with in-laws after marriage is actually quite widespread! If you are traveling to see your in-laws, try to plan a day before or after the family visit that is just for you and your partner. Take this much-needed time to do something you both enjoy, away from the demands of family time. No, because hatred will consume and exhaust you. Even if you have horrible laws, you shouldn`t stop being nice. Don`t allow anyone to oppress you, but don`t be mean either. You have your peace and maybe they will learn it. Relationships between stepparents can be a wonderful part of married life, but they can also be stressful. Either way, your in-laws are a part of your life. It`s important to work on your relationship with your spouse`s parents, including setting boundaries if necessary. Living with your in-laws can also help you and your spouse be attentive and grateful for the time you both spend together (when your in-laws aren`t around).
Relationships with in-laws can be amazing, but they can also be stressful. You may disagree on politics or your in-laws may criticize your upbringing. While you have every right to set boundaries and not be put down, it can be very helpful if you can practice good self-control even in hot moments. If living with your in-laws is something you and your spouse have considered and it is certainly possible in the near future, it is important to understand how to live with the in-laws. You may initially wonder if it`s a good idea to live with your partner`s family. Before you make the decision, talk to your spouse about what life will be like when you move in together. “Chances are that in-laws` values will differ more or less by family,” says expert Elizabeth Dorrance Hall, Ph.D. “Respect for everyone`s values can be demonstrated by asking questions about certain topics, actually listening, and responding calmly and respectfully.” It is common to have unique eating habits and therefore not lose your peace on them. Eat what you like to eat and let your in-laws eat what they want to eat. Why fight for food! Make a special effort to get along with the older members of the household, followed by your partner`s siblings, their partners, and any children they may have. When you got married, you registered as husband or wife, and becoming a son-in-law or daughter-in-law came with the territory.
Taking a deep breath or even going out for a few moments can help clear your head so that small conflicts don`t erupt into screaming arguments. Keep in mind that if something bothers you, talk to your spouse later and work together to find a solution. Everyone wants to have a good relationship with their in-laws. But the first meetings with the in-laws are often greeted with anxiety and concern. Unlike most other relationships we build in life, many of us approach our in-laws with the belief that we are unlikely to find common ground and that there will be a clear possibility of conflict in our relationship. While circumstances vary, you have a good chance of winning them in the long run if you can try to approach your new relationship with your in-laws positively. After all, you share a common love for your spouse, and your in-laws would have played a huge role in helping your spouse become the person you love today. There is no direct answer to the question of whether living with your in-laws is healthy or not. As mentioned earlier, this is a decision that has its fair share of pros and cons! The constant destructive influence of the ego causes most relationship problems. Maintain your humility and do your best to avoid possible conflicts. It`s very simple – just try to fill in all the cavities that exist with love and prevent the ego from entering at any time. Try not to focus on what you want your in-laws to do or be.
Even if it`s hard, you can completely let go of expectations to find ways to appreciate the little things. Your in-laws can`t keep every Friday so you can have an appointment, but the occasional time they offer shows your gratitude. Your children are constantly watching and listening, so it`s important to appreciate kindness in all your interactions with family members and extended family.