To understand how blame works in relationships, it`s also important to understand why narcissists and controllers use this tactic. An aggressor has a great capacity for self-deception. He projects blame for his relationship difficulties onto his partner. He wouldn`t get angry if she didn`t harass him so much. He wouldn`t lie if she didn`t get angry. Blame in relationships isn`t always as easy to determine as you might think. Blame is emotionally abusive behavior or tactics. Here are some definitions or descriptions of blame: However, the person who receives the blame often believes that such accusations are true and strives to work on the relationship. Instead of pampering your partner when they play the blame game, try to solve the problem by helping them.
Students who get poor grades in their class quiz blame their teacher because they don`t like them, or people who lose their jobs often blame their boss or colleague. On the other hand, blame is a form of manipulation in which your partner twists things in such a way that you end up being blamed, even if you weren`t to blame. The distribution of blame leads to a distribution of blame among victims. This happens most often with a narcissist when you confront them with a lie or try to set boundaries. If the narcissist feels like he is losing control and his image of superiority and greatness is in danger, he will blame him. It`s no longer about them, it`s about you. When you feel the change of blame in a conversation or argument, you often lose sight of the initial problem because the narcissist has changed so many problems that you are confused. This is exactly where the narcissist wants you to be. When you`re confused, you no longer know what`s real or not, and you`re more likely to give in. People who use blame are often escapees who do not have the emotional maturity to confess their behavior and the consequences of their resulting actions. These people often perceive negative situations as someone else`s responsibility. Being always a victim of guilt affects your overall self-esteem.
An emotional abuser creates a dynamic in which the victim believes they are to blame and that they need to work harder to solve problems (such as improving the relationship). It never works because the problem is not the victim; Abusive behavior is the problem. Nothing you do will change that. No matter how kind and accommodating you are, nothing you do will change the behavior of an emotionally abusive person. In fact, many people become even more aggressive when you try to do better because they feel you think it`s your fault, and this confirms their own beliefs! “People who ruin their own lives have a strong tendency to blame others when something goes wrong.” Because the narcissist cannot accept guilt, he will constantly become a victim. If they can be considered victims, then the negative focus is on them and the person who allegedly harmed them. Blame is where they shift the blame onto someone else by making that person a problem. Here are some examples of blameworthy phrases so you can watch this narcissist tactic: Being with someone who doesn`t take responsibility for their actions puts a strain on your psychological and emotional well-being.
You often feel exhausted and emotionally exhausted when you take all the blame for things you didn`t do. The guilt converter is often able to keep control because threats work when there is an imbalance of power. If your confidant turns to you and says, “Well, if you`re so unhappy, why don`t you leave?”, this is another distraction tactic. Whatever complaint you have made, it is deprived of its legitimacy and ability to act because the underlying message is that you are just a whiner who likes to whine; The threat makes you especially alert and panicked. The next words in your mouth will probably be, “But I don`t want to leave.” It is the bell that signals that the game is over. It is thanks to this harshness of their moral compass that they cannot accept guilt and try to pass it on to someone else. It is their way of saving themselves from falling into a spiral of self-hatred, guilt and shame.